Cultural Shock

Its been long since I found some time to write. Unlike everytime, this post takes its place almost suddenly. Some events around here triggered this post.

Ever since I landed in USA, people asked me various questions like, "how do I like the country?" , "how is the weather? , the culture, the infrastructure etc etc.
Amongst other such questions, the one that every person in US asked me was "Did you have a cultural shock?" and my answer to it was always NO. This somehow amused people, some had a look as though I knew everything about America, few gave me a foolish look and some others made fun of me stating I haven't seen real America and there were few who themselves were in a so called shock for having to use paper instead of water. According to me there are few things every civilization does in a certain way, in this era of knowledge sharing and IT, I, personally feel such little things are very well known to a person who wants to enter US or for that matter any other part of the world.

Well, I respect these people's feelings, may be I haven't seen too much of this country but there was no shock in its essence what so ever. Few terminologies were different, the twang was different but apart from that nothing.
But yeah recently something happened that really blew me away, made my heart sink and it was a real SHOCK, yes a cultural shock to me.

here goes the story...

A few Sunday's ago we (my husband and I) were on our regular India call. After talking about the routine stuff Suyog's dad broke a news that some one from their society (community as you may say here) expired whom Suyog happened to know well, his dad mentioned to us that the entire society was in grief and many people actually did cry over his death. The entire community of around 60 + apartments gathered before that person was to be cremated. Suyog too kept feeling bad for another day or two, which was obvious.

Now this is routine in India, nothing really worth mentioning over a post which speaks about sudden shock.

On a past Saturday (22nd Aug 2009), we were busy preparing for the Ganesha festival. While passing by I saw an office staff cleaning the apartment of my neighbour. My neighbour was a old lady named "Virdeen" who often needed help in cleaning and the stuff. She was a nice lady and used to sit besides her apartment window making jewellery (yeah she sold imitation/fashion jewellery) or playing some game. We often waved at each other, enquired about each others health and bid goodbye. Occasionally, we have even chatted for like half an hour, which my husband said was very unusual in US but it hardly mattered to me and she was a sweet lady.

So I asked this office staff, who was cleaning her apartment whether she was helping Virdeen out and very casually and calmly she came out and told me that Virdeen had passed away like 2 weeks ago. This really shook me from within. Further she mentioned that Virdeen had to be cremated by the office staff because she was the only child and never married, they even tried contacting Virdeen's cousins who denied to take up her responsibility due to the heavy expenses for burial and the stuff. This tore me apart, made me numb and yes it was a cultural shock to me.

Poor lady had no-one to cry over her death, I, being a neighbour, came to know about the news after 2 weeks, that too because of my inquisitive nature and since she was a good friend to me. This thing kept disturbing me. I have to pass her apartment to reach mine and everytime I look at the empty window I feel bad really bad. I feel sick to my stomach about the culture here, prosperity and money cannot buy you love, I had heard it all the time, read it all over and now I have seen it materialise.

This country who claims to sensitive about 9/11, terrorist attacks, etc does not care about their own people. Media celebrates the death of their pop star, their politician, people cry, tweet, sms, etc over the death of these celebrities but forget to mourn even for a minute for their own relatives.

This is America, now I know.

And yes, I have had a cultural shock, definitely a big one.

April 1 2008

Heyyy, wondering if I made a mistake, or you may think it's a typo, but it's not.
Its about that date, my experience and my memory relating to it.

The story has its roots sown well past in India. The day my dad purchased a new car, (ahh!!! now you know where I am heading) dad asked me to join a driving school, learn well and then experiment on the brand new "baby".

With all the enthusiasm, I finalized on a driving school, got my learner's permit done, and I was all set to drive. (here's the catch, I THOUGHT I was ready).

Day 1. Boring Driving lecture.
Day 2. Was actual hands on experience, I was all excited, but to my deepest of the sorrows (pun intended) I could hardly pick the car in the first gear. In the total of 30 mins class, I must have driven just a mile long.
Day 3. A little better, I could pick up the car in the first gear after a couple of trials and errors, which contributed to my nervousness all the more.
Day 4. I dragged my-self
Day 5. I missed... so on and so forth........

Some-how I completed(?) the 30 day class in a span of 60 days. I also managed to get a permanent licence. (and who said, miracles don't happen, they do, just believe in them :) ).
Do I really need to tell you what happened to my driving after that?

=========== END OF PART 1=========================

PART 2 BEGINS

In the mean while I forgot about my driving abilities. I was about to get married and up came the question from my groom to be , quote " can you drive a car"

and with all the confidence I said YES.
I got married, came to US, enjoyed the new country, the roads, the speed and up creeped the enthusiasm for driving THE CAR.
As per my hubby's info, I knew how to drive so he gladly took up the job to teach me, and to his greatest of the fears, I did not know how to drive. :((((((

Well, still he took up the challenge, the car here too had a manual transmission !!!!!

with great love, hate, tears, frowns, etc.... I started driving in my community where the speed limit is 10 miles per hour. My level of expertise reached upto gear 2 as I used only gear 1 and gear 2.

It goes without saying that it took me 3-4 months to ride this "beast" smoothly (but in the community itself).
So now that I was confident enough, I asked my husband to take me out on the road, after days of pursuading him, he finally agreed.


Alas !!!

So here comes April 1 2008, during noon, we came out to practice, after a round or two and unexpectedly, he asked me to take the car on the road. I was excited but scared and was trying to keep my calm.
After a coouple of mins, I was on the road, up came the instruction from him, race the car faster and engage the third gear, which I had never done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The speed limit outside was 35 miles per hour and here I was, not knowing how to do it. OK somehow I pressed the clutch and he put the car in third gear. It was a shocking surprise to me as well as to my husband.

He did not want to take any further chances so he asked me to take the car back in the community through another gate. YES ! you guessed it right! I did not know how to put back the car in either first or second gear!!!!!

BUT I did make a schumacher turn and the car came to a screeching halt. Oh yeah, did I mention, we were totally fit physically. Lets avoid talking about mental states.

As it is very very obvious, I was not allowed to touch the car any longer.

So this was my April 1, 2008, where my hubby surprised me by asking to drive on the regular road and I made a BIG FOOL of myself.

============ END OF PART 2=============

PART 3 BEGINS

After, that event, I hardly drove that car. While my learners permit was about to expire, my husband gifted me with a brand new fully automatic car. (that day also happens to be my birthday !!!).

oh no... this time your guess is wrong.
I am a very safe driver now.
Trust me. People who have had a ride with me can vouch for me.

Thin line between Success and Failure.

wow... can't believe I am posting after three to four months... December just seems to have passed... and I am already in Spring.

sigh sigh :( long gone are the holidays.....

Well, I really wanted this one to be the third in the line. Why? is a difficult question, even I have no answer to it, but had thought of writing this post as my third one.

Very recently I experienced there's a thin line between success and failure, just that little difference or a margin. I am taking some exams and I happen to clear the first one on the edge; managed to score just enough marks to clear it. I was a very happy person then , it was the first paper in the series of four and " I HAD CLEARED IT". The journey towards reaching my first mile stone wasn't easy 'et-al', but just like my past record (mind you I am very enthusiastic when it comes to studies ;)), I started being lethargic and did not study for a long time.

Then after a series of arguments with my better half I started studying again. aah !!! what a relief it was for him. The days of slogging and toiling day and night were back again. :(

After some hard work I took the exam, and was awaiting the results, and to my hardest of the lucks (?) [ I should have studied in time and put in more efforts] I did not clear the paper and that too, for just ONE MARK, yeah one mark. Suddenly, it occurred to me, there's a huge difference between success and failure, its just that finishing line, which you need to touch in order to qualify.

Now I realised what it is to loose a championship for a tenth of a second. That tenth of a second, that one mark, that touch down has to happen. Even if you are up close and near, you are not a winner, its not a success, you fall "this" short of success and that's the bitter taste of failure.
The feeling of "you could have.... , and but its lost now.... " is worst than swallowing a bitter pill.

Well, undoubtedly, I got a huge support from my friends, family and husband, which is why I re-appeared in a months' time and here I am successful with flying colors this time.

but damn.... it was bad to fail for a mark !!!!